lindalabelle

I want to make everything so simple in this crazy world. But it doesn't seem to be easy although i'm walking around with a smile on my face constantly. I still feel the pain in my chest and every minute i'm trying to gasp for breath in secret. Until now i've tried to keep the truth in me where i can't find it and have told myself lies everytime i felt bad, to survive. But now i've reached the point when i understand that i can't keep fooling myself and other that everything is alright when it isn't. Boy, i need help beacuse i can't seem to breath by myself anymore. Life offers you many ways to go but instead of choosing a way i'm standig still all by myself. I keep waiting for the answer to which way i should choose, but no one ever tells. But inside me i know that, that is something i need to figure out by myself. I'm tryna find the words to say the truth to myself but then i'm afraid i'll fall. I'm losing myself more and more each day that goes and the worst part is that i'm letting it happen instead of fighting against it. Waking up and falling asleep with sorrow and regret everyday in years has gotten me used to it so much that it feels like it's meant to be in that way. I first tried to fight against it but the sorrow and the regret never seemed to go away so instead of fighting i tried to live with it. It's a part of me now, feeling sorrow and regret every day. Sometimes i'm good at hidding it from myself and i manage to feel a little happiness from now and then, but then it's exactly like eating something good, you enjoy it while eating it but as soon as you've finished eating it, after a little while the taste of it goes away. I want to make everything so simple in this crazy world. Will i ever succeed?